The Hands God Gave Me

These are the hands that God gave me. I have to admit that I haven't always been to pleased with them. For a girl who truly appreciates form, grace and beauty, I always felt like I was a bit short changed in that department. My hands are kind of short and stubby, with wide palms and pathetic nails. Of course now we have added age spots and scars to further add insult to injury. When I was a young girl, I remember often noticing my mother's hands  and telling her how beautiful I thought they were. She had long thin hands with beautiful nails and enjoyed wearing sparkly jewelry that showed them off.  As I grew I began to notice other girls hands, they all seemed prettier than mine and I began to find ways to camouflage mine. For instance in the teen years, I liked to wear my sleeves long, hanging to the point where they almost covered my hands and thereby, in my mind that is, making my hands appear smaller and more delicate. Also, as my friends began the years of beautifying themselves, with manicures and pretty rings and jewelry, I found I had nails that wouldn't grow and bracelets and rings brought attention to a part of me I felt was unacceptable. It's amazing how a little thing like this can just be another way you fill up your inner self with more proof that you are just not adequate. Of course, we who are blessed, mature past this point. We learn to value what has lasting value and leave behind, as best we can, the images the world give us of perfection. I learned to appreciate the incredible marvel of what hands are and can do, and reminded myself that having hands at all is a gift, something not everyone has. These are the hands that God gave me. They have stroked heads of old and young alike, they have prepared nourishing food for my family, they have held hands of children, husband, friends, grandchildren and parents, they have folded themselves in prayer, they have cooled feverish heads, washed dirty clothes, changed poopy pants, cleaned houses, dug in dirt, planted flowers,made clothing, sewn , knitted, played piano, raised themselves in praise, wiped tears, massaged hurting muscles, written encouragement and on and on I could go. Today, these hands clipped and filed the toenails of my father and massaged his very swollen feet and calves. While my hands massaged I prayed blessing and healing to this man I love. He can't do that for himself anymore, and I consider it all joy to be able to do this for him now. He has been such a wonderful father.
Oh young ones out there, do you have something you hate about yourself? Do not trouble yourself any longer. If you co-operate, He( our heavenly father) truly does make all things beautiful in His time. These are the hands that God gave me, they are beautiful, they are mine, and I wouldn't trade them.

40 Days is a Long Time

About 28 days ago, as some of my readers will remember, I felt led by God to have a late season of Lent. The sacrifice would be of computer games.  I thought I would update on how it's been going. First off, 40 days is longer than I realized. Though days, weeks and months do seem to fly by too quickly, when there is something that you miss everyday, it's surprising how long it can be. The fact that I feel a little hole and loss in my life over a computer game is something that I have let stew around in my psyche and heart. I've been asking God to show me what this means, and what does He want me to do about it. I realize that 40 days is long for a reason. I need the time to evaluate what I will do when the time is over. At first I might have said, I should never play those games, they are a total waste, but what I've realized is there is a time when it's okay to just be idle and relax and those games can sometimes fit the bill.  I don't need to be accomplishing something productive or meaningful all the time. That's been a help to realize that. But I also know, I used them for avoidance and procrastination. And the fact that I still miss them every day, shows me I still have to let go of the hold they have on me. I need to learn to lean into my given responsibilities. Embrace them for what they are, the very tools that God uses to mold and shape me into what I was created to be.  One of the really good things that is coming out of this is the letting go of an "agreement" I made about myself. I have said many times through the years, because of my past failings, that I'm just "not disciplined". I so bought into that lie about myself, that I no longer even tried to engage in "times of fasting or self denial". Yet that is certainly a part of the Christan walk. How victorious the enemy of our soul is when he has convinced us that we might as well not even try anymore. Well Jesus graciously has led me through this. I'm thankful that I can leave that lie about myself behind. That I can walk in greater faith before Him.. 10 days left of my 40 days, but I see victory in Jesus at the finish line.

This sweet little bunny is who I often share my morning coffee with. He can probably fit in the palm of my hand. Each morning as I drink my cup of coffee and look out my side door to check on the progress of my gardens, he is there munching away. He is one of my daily delights that causes me joy and a deep sense of satisfaction with my spot in life. He likes the front sidewalk garden. So do I. This time of year it's soft blues and violets and reflects the coolness of spring. Before the heat and warmth of the sun bring on all the vibrant pinks and sunny yellows these first flowers of spring speak of hope to me. My lilac tree is in full bloom. The fragrance lilting on the breeze and drifting in through the rustling lace of my curtains speak of home, and earth and all things good and pure. This characteristic of truly rejoicing and finding sweet contentment in the beautiful things of the earth comes from both of my parents. I'm so thankful that they passed this on to me, helped instill it in me and have nurtured it's growth in me. It draws us together in a hundred little ways and gives us a way to enjoy each other as loved and cherished friends as well as family.

This has been a week of many small delights that I have been savoring in my heart and finding myself full of joy and thankfulness to God and those who bring those delights my way. They have been varied, none earth shaking, but altogether they make a lovely life. Reconnecting with friends for a delightful evening, a friend who brings me a totally unexpected and for no reason present and it's just something I need, sharing deeply and intimately with wonderful women and feeling the richness and blessings of those relationships, sharing a romantic dinner and a fun weekend out of town with my hubby, holding hands while singing and driving down the road, taking some fantastic pictures, holding and kissing my very cute nephew, hearing the guidance of God, talking on the phone with my children and grandchildren and sharing some garden plants with my Dad. "And I think to myself, What a wonderful world."